Levi Brinkkoeter - Programmer

At times my social skills can really show how out of touch I really am with the social world. I am a hermit by default, breaking out of my comfort zone leads to awakwardness and just general weirdness. I am trying to break out, become that social butterfly people expect a normal person to be. Normal is not something I consider myself to be, I am definetly off as far as human interaction is concerned, thought I am trying to improve.  My shyness is just one aspect of how I respond to  social situations,  other influences impact how I behave when “put on the spot”. For some reason I tend to treat all social situations as confrontation which they are not, and I tend to shy away from areas that my lead further down that road. There is much for me to work on but I believe I know how I should act just find the words can be difficult to me. When I am put in a situation I feel I need to take the initiative to drive conversation my mind draws a blank. To me talking about day to day minutia is almost pointless yet it does serve a purpose to break the ice and create relationships. Since I am more of a listener than a talker people who like to talk tend to like me because I let them talk and give them control of the conversation. If I am not interested it is probably very apparent to them by my non verbal tells, if I am bored I may feign interest but most people can see through that. It is very hard for me to put into words what exactly goes through my head in social interactions unless I feel at ease with the person as someone I trust and respect. Respect is a major aspect of my interactions, if I feel you respect me I become more candid and feel I can speak my mind. Otherwise I feel as if I should hold my tongue and let the other person drive the converstation, throwing in my thoughts in the breif silence between topics.